This is my first blog in many weeks, which is the longest break ever, since I started blogging with interest. Many asked me why I had stopped. I had no answer. For the same reason, I would not announcing this blog in any of the public forums. This one is for those of my "close to the heart ones", who, even without me telling them, would check regularly to see if I have freed my bird of creativity from the unjustified quarantine. As I sit, smiling and happily pecking at my keyboard, I have no clear topic in mind. But I think it is creativity that I might want to blog about. Beware, you might ultimately end up reading stuff totally unrelated to the above mentioned topic and you would definitely think what I had in mind or if I had anything called a mind at all. That is one reason why I am not planning to publicize this particular blog.
One of my friends told me last day that my creativity flows from my fingertips. Me being me and my ego being satisfied and belching, I was proud of the comment. Nevertheless, every rivers needs a mountain to originate from, and it is the lucidity and the briskness of the source which decides how far and long the river would flow. A masterpiece from Picasso or some "smile-able crap" from Vidya would both require the same basic factor to evolve, the right amount of motivation and stimulation. I learned in Organizational Behavior in the last term that strong emotions, positive or negative, can lead to a surge in the level of creativity. Taking a look at history, there are two basic reasons behind any work of art, love or hatred. Love encompasses emotions, calm and joy, whereas hatred would include anger, frustration and grudge. Going back to Picasso, have you ever seen his 'Guernica'? I would have puked had I understood any part of it. My brother painstakingly explained every bit of the picture which came out from a maestro who was inspired by the bombing during Spanish civil war. I am not as fortunate, if hatred could make me a creative write, I could beat Ayn Rand over her one million pages (not quite) long 'Atlas Shrugged'. What comes out of me when I am in the negative hemisphere would be even more pathetic than the work of some self declared artists of Malayalam, widely popularized through YouTube and the likes. I wait for it to pass, to think and to write. The last 20 days of my life were glimpses of a transition and indecision that I was going through. This phase is typically characterized through dark circles under the eyes, bursts of anger, lack of concentration and skepticism about everything and everyone. If you claim that this is a psychological condition, I would not refuse it, but atleast it is a condition acknowledged and appreciated by the sufferer.
The famous American Psychologist, David McClelland professed a theory for motivation, which is known as the need theory of motivation (any doubts that I am an FPM student now? Even my blogs are reflecting my deep intellectual knowledge!!). My Philosophy book review this term was based on his work and I would be blithe to send it to anyone who wants to know more about him or the theory. Well, he says that a person with a high need for achievement ultimately achieves something in life, and also about a few ways of raising this levels for a normal human being. One of this is fantasizing. Now don't start getting any ideas, he speaks about fantasizing the achievements that you aspire so that your dreams don't let you sleep. Cannot really help if your dreams also start evading you, can it? I have been having all these dreamless nights or the ones where the dreams are so broken, bordering on being night mares, like the cash flow statements I prepare for my accounts course, where nothing matches, you can neither make out the beginning, or the end or if there is a flow at all.
The PGP office of IIMK is sadistic in nature and derives pleasure out of shuffling our seats in the most unpredictable manner every 3 months. They did it again and now I am transferred from the corner of the last row, where I was invisible, to the corner of the front row, where I am just as invisible. I do not particularly enjoy being invisible because I still remember the adorable Prof Subhashis Dey (sigh!!) looking around helplessly to find the source of my voice when I posed a question in the class the last term. Well, my seat in class incidentally has nothing to do with my creativity ofcourse, but I was explaining it because now I have a new neighbor. Shushanta Guha (let not the 'a' at the end of his name mislead you, Shushanta is a male) and Sonia Singh (no misgivings there, Sonia is a female), who sits adjacent to him, have made some people suggest that the PGP office has collaboratively accumulated all the senior citizens of the class together. OK, we are the eldest ones in the class, with the other two elder to me but apparently no one would believe that the gorgeous Sonia is a mother of a child of 3 and that Shushanta is almost 28. I am again deviating from my early intent by discussing my interesting neighbors, this is what happens when you give a a chance to a "blog chatter box" a chance to write after weeks. Getting to the point, Shushanta has a 5 subject notebook, which looks very professional, though a part of its beauty has been tarnished by my 5 color pen. Yes, I do have a pen with which I can write in 5 different colors, which I am currently using to blackmail my classmates to my advantage. Ok, so today as I was admiring my colorful impressions on his 'once' beautiful book, I noticed a printed quote at the back cover and it moved me. It said, "Every work of art, every world changing idea, is a result of a moment's inspiration". I could not wait for the class to get over, which is handled by yet another interesting person (I am not writing anymore about my term 2 news in IIMK, that would take another blog and who said I am short of idea, OMG, give me two keyboards!!). All because this simple line of thought had given me the last spark to burn off all that was dormant and doubtful in me. After class, the all new me rushed to my room, looked at the mirror on the wall, smiled and opened the laptop!
This blog has no outcomes, no conclusions, no questions posed, nothing to think or ruminate about. The only intent is to let you know that you have no reason to worry about me now, I do not guarantee that I would never go on a spell of dark thoughts ever again, but with you by my side, I will get over it! And ofcourse, I do hope that a part of it has made you smile, as I have always wanted it.
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