Beware...
The list below is explosive. It might help you to learn things about me that can probably avoid me getting angry at you. But if you try to change yourself according to it, then my dear, you would have very little of you remaining in you!
Also, building an exhaustive list is impossible. My tastes change with time. The items are person dependent too, I might not find you scratching your head to be amusing to any degree whereas in someone else, I would find it super cute!!
So here it goes. Don't lose yourself in the deep whirlpool of the likes and dislikes of an eccentric mind called me!!
10 commandments!
1. My weight concerns me. And trust me, I don't eat too much. Any point hinted at my weight and the pertaining ugliness would turn me off forever! At the same time, please don't ever tell me that I am not fat, I would know you are lying and would hate you vehemently for a long time. So the best way out, ignore the topic! All the same, I would make fun of you and your weight and anything associated. That happens to be my right!
2. I am particular about table manners. Don't chew noisily, never open your mouth while eating, don't burp knowingly, I definitely can forgive you if I feel that it was unintentional. I usually don't do any of these, but in the rare case of me doing it, you are to keep absolutely quite.
3. I am good at advising people and telling them how to live their lives, but if you dare to try it on me, you are doomed! I will do as I please, talk as I want, behave as I wish, you are to watch every thing stoically. And if as much as see a shadow of smile on your face, needless to say, you would be sorry for yourself!
4. I can take jokes, but keep away the one with the tinge of obscenity. Does not mean I don't enjoy non-veg jokes, it's up to you to find out my level of tolerance. And some day you might just learn it the hard way!
5. You have the liberty to make fun of my ancestral origins, caste and remote family. Keep away my parents and my child. My husband and brother are all yours.
6. If I say I don't want something or I won't do something, it means I don't want it and I won't do it. You are not to demand it again. Nevertheless, when I say I am sleeping, you can try asking me for 2 mins more. Anything more than 2 mins and such a demand more than once a day would be met with an iron fist!
7. I do like surprises, not shocks. I love it when you gaze, but don't stare. You can praise me, but don't make me feel that you are making it up!
8. I hate losers. I define a loser as a person who never tries. I hate laziness, I hate people sleeping late in the mornings, I hate people who don't have dreams. On second thoughts, I guess I should have put this the first in my list as my greatest turn on is to be with a dreamer..someone with unlimited dreams!
9. Don't bore me. I hate sports, cars and action cinema. I am alien to English music though I do know that Brian Adams was not the former president of the US and the back street boys are not street thugs. So please don't talk to me about any of these and prove my ignorance. I hate to be revealed as a fool infront of anyone.
10. I am the greenest variety of the female species you would find on earth. You are not to entertain any other female in any capacity when I am around. I can be deadly if turned green!
Good luck to you. Following these rules would kill you. Not following it would make me kill you. Either way, you are so very DEAD!!!!
6 comments:
well written darling....i just wish every other friend could structure this 'manual' so that I knew them better and forged better relationships with them.... :)
:) i guess we have more in common than a just a common name
Scary list... but liked your point no.8!
As you said death is confirmed. Hee hee. ;)
:) :) :)...looks like you are still the same :) :) :) insane !!!
LOL!! Sumi, do I need to change? U tell me :)
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